Why Is This Haggadah Different?

Rabbi Mitchell Wohlberg noticed over the years that at some Passover seders, the Four Questions seemed to be dramatically different from the ones generations have pondered over the centuries of Jewish life.

So, instead of "Why is this night different … ?" He was hearing:

Question 1: When do we eat?

Question 2: How long will this take?

Question 3: Do we have to read the whole thing?

Question 4: Do we have to do it again tomorrow night?

Sound familiar?

Oh, it can be worse. Beth Tfiloh’s spiritual leader also points out that the four children of the Haggadah have become five. The fifth child is the one who doesn’t even come to the seder.

Recognizing that the Passover seder is absolutely the most observed of Jewish holidays (indeed, according to the Associated: Jewish Community Federation’s 1999 community study, some 77 percent of Baltimore’s Jewish community attends a seder. Compare that to a 68 percent rate when it comes to fasting on Yom Kippur), Rabbi Wohlberg wrote "The Un-Haggadah, How to Keep The Conversation & Wine Flowing At Your Seder."

The "Un-Haggadah" skips none of the Haggadah’s sacred order for observing the Jewish Exodus from Egypt. What Rabbi Wohlberg does, however, is add commentary at every juncture, relating the ancient story in contemporary terms in 26 separate essays.

For example, at the part of the seder where we say "In every generation everyone is obligated …" Rabbi Wohlberg writes "it is hard, terribly hard, for any of us to see ourselves and feel ourselves as if we had gone forth out of Egypt."

He adds that we have to imagine what it must have been like to get into the Passover spirit. To help us reach that level of thought, he urges us to look around at our world where we see the starving and human tragedy of Darfur. And like he does throughout the "Un- Haggadah," Rabbi Wohlberg leaves us with questions to ponder. In this case, the questions are:

• Are you able to put yourself in the place of others?

• Are you able to put yourself in the place of your parents, feeling their worries and concerns?

• Are you able to put yourself in the place of your children, feeling their angst?

• Are you able to put yourself in the place of the homeless?

• The handicapped?

• The people of Darfur?

• Where is Darfur?

Perhaps it is difficult for a person to feel as if he were actually there crossing the desert. Or maybe a Jew living his life in Pikesville, driving a car, going to work, surfing the ‘Net, eating out and taking vacations has trouble feeling like a slave in Egypt.

What Rabbi Wohlberg does is to expand Passover table. "Slavery" can be defined as the obstacles a person must overcome to achieve personal or professional growth. So much of the seder, he said, is focused on food, where so much more should be targeted in the area of self-development.

Rabbi Wohlberg was actually writing a book on lessons to be learned from the rich and famous when he started working on the "Un-Haggadah."

"The Pesach seder is the most important religious event for the Jewish family," he said. "At Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur we are sitting in synagogue not talking to each other. At the Passover seder it’s the one time a year when the family is together doing something Jewish."

He also said that for the most part, seders are geared to children. But, he said, there are often adults who come to the table who want to converse about almost anything as long as it’s not Jewish.

"People often don’t know what to talk about," he said. "They’re not going to be interested in who is Laban the Aramean. And most Haggadahs are geared in that direction."

The rabbi said that it takes a lot of chutzpah to write a Haggadah, because he added there are more than 3,000 Haggadahs written.

Everyone, he said, had the Maxwell House Haggadah.

"It was free," he said. "It was symptomatic of who Jews were. In the 1960s, things started to change. Jews became involved in civil rights, anti-war, Soviet Jewry. Pretty soon there we were adding prayers. And then there were freedom seders and the shankbone was being replaced by a sweet potato or something."

There was a period of intensity where authors such as Holocaust chronicler Elie Wiesel came out with a Haggadah. The ‘90s then brought about the era of "fun" Haggadahs, according to Rabbi Wohlberg. "We didn’t want little Sean to be bored. Our only problem was that his father was even more bored."

We are, he said, "in search for something to say. I want to provide a basis for discussion, a seder that is relevant to their lives."

It took him two weeks to write, but it was inside of him for many years, so it had an easy flow to it.

The Haggadah covers everything from our slavery to the lost lives in tragic Darfur.

"Perhaps the message of Passover is that human slavery is created not only by chains and whips, but frequently we enslave ourselves," writes Rabbi Wohlberg. "Our ancestors were slaves to Pharoah in Egypt, but all too many of us are slaves to money and our jobs.

"Between our cell phones, faxes, e-mails and Blackberries, we never really leave the office. We never really relax; we’re always wired, even when we’re wireless. Too many make the mistake of thinking their career is their life. And so, they never give themselves completely to their children and spouses because there is always a business call waiting. There’s always another deal to make, always another client to get back to. And it’s 24/7. "For our family, the seder is the event of the year," said Rabbi Wohlberg. "It is not really a social occurrence for us. The family and friends we invite to our house have something to bring to the table and it’s not food." n

The "Un-Haggadah," which was underwritten by Rachel and Aharon Dahan and Roz and Marvin H. Weiner, can be ordered by going to www.BethTfiloh.com . The "Un-Haggadah," which costs $20 plus shipping, can also be ordered by phone at 410-486-1900. It also can be purchased directly at Beth Tfiloh weekdays between 9 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. and Sundays from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Excerpts from "The Un-Haggadah, How To Keep The Conversation & Wine Flowing At Your Seder"

Ma Nishtana

Why Is This Night … ?

The asking of the Four Questions by children has become the most popular moment at the seder.

Question: Where did this idea of the Four Questions come from?

Answer: It is found in a Mishnah in the Tractate Pesachim where we are told: "They poured the second cup of wine and here the child asks his father. But if the child lacks the knowledge the father teaches him: Ma nishtana halayla hazeh. It matters not who asks the question as long as questions are asked. In fact, the Talmud tells us a story of little Abaye who was about to begin his Pesach seder when the servants removed the seder plate. Shocked by the servants’ actions, little Abaye asked his teacher Rabbah: "Why did they take away the plate? We haven’t eaten yet." To this, his teacher responded: "By your question, you have exempted us from reciting the Ma Nishtana."

The bottom line is, the Mishnah’s concern is not who asks the question and now what is the question. The Mishnah’s concern is that a question be asked. Because without a question the story can’t be told.

Jews have become identified with asking questions. The old joke — You ask a Jew, "How come you Jews ask so many questions?" He answers — "Why not?" Questioning is important for several reasons. It is certainly appropriate for a seder night because questioning is a sign of freedom. If we are permitted to attempt to make sense out of our surroundings, if we are permitted to question, challenge, investigate, probe … if we are permitted to ask, inquire and search … then we know we are free. But it is more than this. Tom Peters once said, "In the brain-based economy, victory goes to the perpetually curious." Judaism is a brain-based economy. We aren’t the People of the Book for nothing. Some of the most important pieces of Jewish literature are the Responsa, questions and answers on issues of

Jewish law and doctrine. Only by asking the questions do we learn. The Nobel physicist, Isaac Rabi, was asked to what he attributes his success in the field of science. He responded, "Whenever I returned home from school as a child, my mother never asked me, ëIke, what did you learn today?’ She always asked, ëIke, did you ask a good question?’"

But there is one more reason why asking questions is important. It reminds us that we are human, that only God knows all the answers. The rest of us are frail, fallible human beings, who often make mistakes, even about things we are certain we know. Just ask George Tenet, the former head of the CIA. He might not have become the "former" head if he hadn’t told President Bush that it was a "slam dunk" that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. One of the problems in America’s political life today is that everyone has become so sure of himself. Republicans and Democrats, liberals and conservatives have always disagreed, but never before have the decisions been so vitriolic, leaving no possibility that there just might be some small measure of truth in the other side’s position. Everyone is so sure that he is right.

Rashi wasn’t. It’s almost impossible to study the Bible of the Talmud without using Rashi’s commentary. And yet, in his commentary, more than 100 times you’ll find Rashi writing, "I don’t know what this means." Now, Rashi didn’t have to write that. He didn’t have to write anything. We would never know. But then, we never would have known how great Rashi was. His greatness is reflected not only in what he knew, but in the fact that he was willing to admit what he didn’t know.

You know who was very lucky? Rashi’s wife and children. One of the most negative comments you can make about a person is to say, "He’s a Mr. Know-it-all." Many of you grew up with a person like that in our lives. Many of us can testify from our personal lives about having had a parent or teacher who was dogmatic, intransigent, unwilling to allow for any discussion or give and take. In style and in substance they were so smug, so certain, so authoritarian. There is a thin line separating love, caring and concern, from dominance, subjugation and control. Do you know anyone like that? Someone who thinks he’s always right. Do you live with someone like that? Many husband-wife relationships and parent-child relationships suffer from this syndrome. There can be no communication over any disagreements. I suspect it wasn’t like this in Rashi’s household. He was "man" enough to admit that he didn’t know it all. Only God is infallible. We, as finite, frail, limited, mortal human beings, must always recognize that little in life is certain or immutable. We dare not be a "Mr. Know-it-all."

Echad Me Yodea Who Knows One?

The seder begins with questions — four to be exact — and ends with questions — 13 to be exact. Beginning with "Who knows one?" we proceed one by one until we ask, "Who knows 13?" In some ways it is safe to say that only a Jew could have written this popular song. Hardly anyone else would write a song culminating with the No. 13, widely considered to be unlucky.

Our society refers to the No. 13 as being the "devil’s dozen." There is a book, "Thirteen — The World’s Most Popular Superstition" by Nathaniel Lachenmeyer. The fear of 13 has an official name: Triskaidekaphobia. The popular belief that 13 is an unlucky number is derived from Christianity where Jesus’ Last Supper was attended by him and his 12 disciples.

Whether 13 as "unlucky" is a Christian concept or not is open to question. There is no question that we Jews are "triskaidekaphiliacs" — those who think of 13 as a lucky number. A young man enters the adult congregation of Israel at the age of 13. Maimonides listed "13 Principles of Faith" that every Jew must believe. The numerical values of the Hebrew words for love (ahavah) and for one (echad) are both 13. Indeed, God is described as possessing "13 attributes."

This is but one of countless examples of how Jews look at the world differently. And while some resent us for that, the reality is that it has been our greatest strength. In one of his letters written in 1926, Sigmund Freud writes, "Because I was a Jew I found myself free from many prejudices which limited others in their employment of their intellects. And as a Jew I was prepared to go into opposition and do without the agreement of the compact majority."

By looking at things differently, by always questioning the accepted norms of society, the Jewish people have made lasting contributions to society. Perhaps this is best reflected in the following comparison of a list of the winners of the Nobel Prize from among the Muslim people and the Jewish people. Among the Muslims, there have been nine Nobel Prize winners. That’s nine Nobel Prize winners from a population of 1.2 billion Muslims.

Just in physics there have been 47 Jewish Nobel Prize winners. Overall there have been more than 150. Nine from 1.2 billion Muslims. One hundred and fifty plus from 14 million Jews.

10 Plagues — 10 Commandments 10 Questions For the Pesach Seder

1. Does sitting at a seder in a hotel provide the same nostalgic memories as a seder at home? What are your memories of seders past?

2. What if "Bitter Herb" is your brother-in-law? How should he be treated at the seder? What if he isn’t Jewish?

3. In Israel a survey was taken to determine who is the greatest Jew who ever lived. Who would you choose? Would you want him/ her at your seder? If not, then who?

4. Would you consider someone like Jesus or Karl Marx a great Jew? What makes a great Jew?

5. In the Kiddush we speak of God as having "chosen us from all the nations." Did He/She? And if so, why? For what? For us to be blamed for everything including tsunamis?

6. In the Haggadah the name of Moses is mentioned only once in passing so as to focus on God as being the one who took the Jews out of Egypt. Do you believe in a God who is directly involved in our lives?

7. What do Pesach and Easter have in common? Spring festivals? Eggs? Redemption? How do they differ?

8. Who does the "wicked" child refer to? Saddam Hussein? Osama bin Laden? Mel Gibson? Your mother-in-law? What makes someone "wicked"?

9. Does freedom bring with it rights or responsibilities? What’s the difference between the two?

10. Will your great-grandchildren be sitting at a Pesach seder?

— Rabbi Mitchell Wohlberg, Special to the Jewish Times

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